Chapter 2: The High Priestess
Later, the majority of us started to hobble up from our artificially-induced sleep. And son after we realized what had transpired, there was utter pandemonium.
As if the Lord above had said, "Let the mind be riddled with dank memes and bad FNAF fanfiction."
In overview, Wrath and Greed went ham, and it took the rest of us to stop them. But eventually, we regained our wits, where pleasant conversation could continue and polite company would be appreciated.
And me, being the only competent guy around here to get anything done, managed to get that we were tied up (Lust started to get really excited and started to talk to herself about something that involved "kinky" and "submissive") and we were in the back of a van, getting transported somewhere, destination unknown.
Wrath then managed to seize control and started to struggle, until we could all feel exhaustion hitting us like a convertible vs. pedestrian, and then the van stopped.
Before you, reader, think that's a good thing, let me enlighten you on something called "momentum."
Momentum is known as the measureable quantity of inertia a given object has, scaling with the amount of mass it has. A body may not have too much mass (unless you got something called Gluttony sharing a body) but going at 40+ mph to zero is very, very bad. Especially if you slam your left shoulder into the wall first, and breaking your collarbone.
Again, the Lord popped up from the heavens above and called on Pepe and FoxyXBalloonBoy to destroy a wonderful thing called the human mind.
But we barely managed to halt Gluttony from suffocating Envy by weight alone until we heard a voice from outside that was distinctly female.
"Gus, what the hell?! For the nth time, stop Giga Impacting all goddamn vans!" said a rather irate voice.
"Sorry," replied the not-so-sorry, kinda-stupid sounding male counterpart.
All of us were in silence as we witnessed the back of the van open, and saw the light cascade into the dark void of our prison, and saw our two protectors from our miserable fate.
We were all surprised when we saw two Pokemon stroll inside normally (well, as normally as you can be if you were two Pokemon and destroyed an armored vehicle in one move).
Normally, we would have flipped more shit than pancakes at a pancake fair, but this was too much for all pof us, so that pretty much dulled and desensitized our nerve endings that we wouldn't really be surprised if Luffy and Kratos joined our merry band of the real world + other fictional worlds better than this one ( = a very bad fanfic).
The Gardevoir said, "Are you alright?"
So I piped up and said, "I'm quite fine and dandy, if you're willing to ignore the fact that I started to grow spikes of steel and got kidnapped and then rescued by two mythical creatures. Oh, and a broken collarbone. Can't forget the collarbone."
The Dragonite uttered a very intelligent, "Uh?"
Ms. Gardevoir rolled her eyes and said, "You're taking this rather lightly. We could've been friends, if it weren't for the fact that you're another goddamn Lucario."
Greed replied for me, "How so?"
Came the reply, "Well, maybe 30% of our population is Lucario/Riolu. Lucario are a fucking joke. Can't stand them. Always have obnoxious egos, and whiny voices."
Wow, it feels great to be loved.
Lust piped in, "Are you willing to, uhm, overlook that oversight? Maybe at least one of us can prove you wrong." And then winked before anyone else could respond.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention? Lust is pansexual.
The Gardevoir smirked, but said nothing about our suggestive behavoir (Thanks, Lust!). Instead, she said, "It'd be nice to chat, but we better get going. My bucket list does not include, 'Get shot in ass while fleeing from mobs of brainwashed creatures because of making small talk with a transformee."
We all stared at her curiously.
She shook her head and laughed. "Right, you have no clue what any of that means. We'll teleport back to base, and we can get you set up. Maybe then we can chat. Name's Christy, by the way, and as you may know, this is Gus, who's gonna pay for that broken arm of yours."
Gus broke in and said, "No fly?"
Sigh from Christy. "No fly. Teleport."
The Dragonite huffed, smoke billowing out of his nostrils. "But I no like teleport. Teleport makes me throw up breakfast."
Christy did a perfect facepalm. "THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU INSIST ON EATING TWENTY POP TARTS FOR BREAKFAST EVERY DAY!"
Gus folded his stubby arms. "But Pop Tarts tasty. Makes stomach feel all sweet inside."
"To which I can attest to," said Gluttony, only to the rest of us.
"Shut up,"said Rest of Us to Gluttony.
By the time us seven (yes, Sloth was finally awake again, surprise, surprise) went back to the conversation, Christy managed to convince Gus that they should teleport, somehow.
Without further ado, we teleported.
---
Gus was right. Teleportation really does make you throw up breakfast.
Christy both laughed when a powerful Dragonite and a Lucario transformee jostled and raced to the nearest garbage can to deposit our respective breakfasts into the rather minature wastebasket. The nearby receptionist only looked on with horror.
Eventually, Christy managed to halt her shits and giggles and Gus and my upheavals to get checked into the hospital, where I'd stay for the next week.
All of us jumped at the duration. A week?
"Yes, yes," said the rather harried male Chansey, who was in charge of taking care of all of our stuff. "A week."
"But… but… an entire week? Why?" Wrath said, angrily (when is he never?).
"Because," the Chansey said, looking into our collective eyes with his own bloodshot eyes and baggy eyelids. "You need a week of rest to fully transform, and no exceptions."
"You can't expect me to sleep for a week without any exciting activity! You can't stop me!" shouted Wrath, despite our hushes and pleads from the rest of us.
"Well, then." said Mr. Chansey, casting an evil eye which caused a cold finger to run up our spines. "I'll make you." (Cue Beethoven's 5th symphony)
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(And that's the end of Chapter Two! This is the author, not Pride, and I'm here to ask you a question: you guys A-OK with Pride's narrative, or do you want some other styles? You guys can request some other sin's narrative, some I've already thought about. Others I'm not sure what to do.
Pride: Current
Lust: Dating sim!
Wrath: RPG Style!
Envy: Blank verse
Sloth: Procrastinator's Half-assed Narrative
Gluttony: IDK
Greed: Something to do with money? IDK
Put your replies in the comments below, and hopefully with something that'll help me improve! After all, this is for all our enjoyment, and it'd be best if we could all help each other out. (That being said, I should do the same to stop being hypocritical)
Thanks, and hope to seeya soon!)